Just when it seems Britney Spears can't dig a deeper hole for herself, the tabloids break out their collective excavation equipment and plumb new depths of her sadly spiraling life.

The self-control-lacking starlet is the cover girl of no fewer than four tabs this week, with tales ranging from her supposed snuggle-bunnies with a former assistant to her alleged maternal missteps.

The stories will likely provide more ammunition to ex-husband Kevin Federline, who has been serving subpoenas to Spears' current and former minions to compel them to testify as part of his bid to get primary custody of Sean Preston, 23 months, and Jayden James, 11 months.

But in typical id-driven Brit fashion, she isn't letting an escalating legal fight or an evisceration by the so-called "false tabloids" get in the way of her good time.

Paparazzi caught her at a Beverly Hills, Calif., hotel in the early hours of Thursday morning with "Mindfreak" illusionist Criss Angel, who's not exactly known for keeping his exploits with high-profile women to himself (his cringe-inducing gushing about Cameron Diaz led her to be dragged into his bitter divorce battle).
 
Us reports the coif-challenged pair were hand-in-hand as they made their way up to a suite on the 11th floor.  
 
"Britney was very obviously in a good mood and she seemed entranced by Criss," a shutterbug tells photo agency X17Online.com.

The tube-dress-bedecked cautionary tale reportedly joined the hirsute prestidigitator for an hour-long drive in his chauffeur-driven Rolls-Royce Phantom before heading up to the room.

But is Angel, who's previously been linked to Paris Hilton and Minnie Driver, really interested in the embattled, meltdown-prone mommy of two?

X17 believes they met up to discuss Spears' rumored "comeback" performance at the Las Vegas-set MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 9, with Angel supposedly set to work his magic with her onstage.

While it remains unclear whether the easily-distracted-by-bright-and-shiny-objects Brit-Brit got up close and personal with Angel's sleight-of-hand skills, it's a good bet her night out already has the tabloids salivating over next week's cover possibilities.

And as we eagerly await (and inwardly dread) every icky detail, here are the latest Brit bits from the tabs:

OK!, perhaps still smarting from its ill-fated, puppy-poop-filled photo shoot with Spears, goes for the jugular with its latest exclusive: "Britney's New Lover -- and Yes, It's a Woman! The troubled star searches for comfort and attention in the arms of her female friends."

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Spies give the mag a far different version of what happened the night of Britney's brief encounter with college student Matt Encinias, whose alleged lip-on-lip action with the bygone starlet was featured on the cover of last week's Us Weekly.

It seems she may have actually been cozying up to her ex-assistant Shannon Funk, whom you'll remember from her paparazzi-documented dip in the ocean with her underwear-clad boss.

The aptly named Funk was also accused of attempting to make off with several items from the aborted shoot with OK!, whom she not-so-coincidentally met with just ahead of this latest cover story, according to the New York Daily News.

"That boy who claims he went back to hang out with Britney and hook up with her? No, that's not what happened," a "close friend" of Spears' tells the mag. "Instead of hooking up with him, [Funk] ended up back in Brit's room and bed."

But the flunky, who was hit with a summons from Federline's legal pitbulls this week to testify about Spears, denies suggestions that she was anything more than a pal to the Britster.

"I love that girl," she insists to OK!, which features a photo of her getting handsy with a topless Spears. "I will do what I can to protect her."

Adds Funk, "Britney needs constant reassurance of someone's affection and is very touchy-feely, even if she likes someone. Brit loves the attention that comes from flirting."

That opinion dovetails with Us' current "Brit's Nannies Tell All" cover, which breaks down her alleged misdeeds thusly: "drunk with the babies," "bizarre nudity," "demands they share her bed."

Some of the revelations from the cakehole-unplugging caregivers include Spears supposedly requesting that one of the nannies bunk with her while she was pregnant with Jayden.

Another loose-lipped staffer alleges that the reluctantly rehabbed starlet tipples in front of the tots.

"At first, the drinks would help her loosen up and not be so angry," the mole tells the mag. "But she'd inevitably drink too much and be out of it, at which point the nannies would take care of the kids."

A nanny who worked for Britney earlier this year tells People in its "The Battle for Britney's Boys" cover story that she believes the onetime singer has the ability to be a good mom, but she doesn't always put the boys' needs first.

"She's very loving with the kids, well, when she's around and awake. When I was with her, she was out partying a lot, and she would wake the kids up when she got home at 3 in the morning because she wanted to see them," the minder maintains to the magazine. "Then she would sleep in until 1 in the afternoon. It would make my night awful because I would have to try and get them back to bed."

And in an allegation that will surprise exactly no one, Us says Spears is less concerned about finding a nanny with an exemplary background in child-rearing and more concerned with finding herself a playmate.

"She just cares about whether they're young and fun and like to drink and party," maintains a snitch. "She hires people to be her friends."

Meanwhile, several sources also talk up Britney's tendency to drop trou, an uninhibited habit the paparazzi have captured ad nauseum.

"She'll strip down in front of staff, nannies, whomever," an insider avows to Us. "She'll ask, 'Do I look sexy? Do I look pretty?' She's extremely insecure."

This exhibitionism is confirmed by the editor-in-chief of Allure, which features a heavily airbrushed Spears on the cover of its September issue.

According to the editor, when Britney arrived at the photo session, "She ... stripped down to the waist for no apparent reason."

Star, meanwhile, tries a different tack by featuring Spears and her chubby-cheeked if worryingly dead-eyed offspring under the sure-to-require-therapy headline, "Britney to Her Kids: You Were Both Mistakes."

Trumpets the tab, "She makes out with men in front of the boys, refuses to change their diapers, puts whitening strips on their teeth -- and more!"

And once again, there's talk of Spears showing skin, purportedly ambling through her house sans clothes, "sometimes in front of the boys."

As for Life & Style, it's convinced K-Fed has the custody issue in the bag.

"Kevin Says, Brit's Losing the Babies!" blares the magazine. "Kevin declares victory -- but is he just after her millions?"

Federline's lawyer, however, denies the wrangling is about cash, insisting to People, "I can tell you unequivocally that this has nothing to do with finances. Kevin has never made finances a link to custody."

According to one L&S source, if K-Fed wins the tot tussle, it could be devastating for Spears.

"Sean and Jayden are all Britney has," says the "pal." "They're the only part of her life that brings her joy and has any meaning. If she loses them, there's no hope for Britney."

Next: Romance Report: Mischa's Blunt Assessment