July 12, 2007

We're starting to wonder if Britney Spears has anyone in her life who isn't on her payroll -- or in diapers. Us Weekly claims the mommy-serving, seriously stagnated mother of two, 25, is "seeing" her lantern-jawed bodyguard.

The former starlet and her burly employee have been spending plenty of quality time together in recent days, but there is still some debate over whether he's her beau, her bodyguard, her babysitter or some combination of the three (more on that below).

Paparazzi have snapped the pair engaged in such wholesome activities as attending church in Bel Air last Sunday (the minder, styling an oh-so-Brit-appropriate Cheetos T-shirt, assumed manny duties by carrying a wailing Sean Preston, 22 months) and family playtime (a happy tableau that featured Jayden James, 10 months, making a grab for his mom's pack of Marlboro Lights).

According to Us, Spears and her would-be Kevin Costner (who instead of a Caesar cut is rocking Jane Fonda's "Klute" shag) also enjoyed a "candlelit dinner" at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills on the Fourth of July, followed by a sleepover at her nearby mansion.

The next night, they took in a performance of the musical "Wicked" (Britney is a big fan), but exited after a mere 45 minutes.

After ditching the show, they reportedly popped by L.A.'s Chateau Marmont hotel, where the Britster "giggled and kissed" her hired protector as he "affectionately touched her face," but not, we hope, her hair, which remains a terrifying tangle of Medusa-like extensions.

Britney and the bodyguard, who is the same quick-on-his-feet minder who saved the delicate noggin of Sean Preston from getting smooshed into the pavement when the bygone popster lost her footing during an outing in New York in May 2006 (back then, he had a distractingly bushy mustache), also ventured out on Monday.

They made a pit stop at a Malibu gas station so that Spears -- decked out in a tank top that read "No Pushover" (the shirt's other message was clearly "No Bra") -- could use the facilities.

Alas, it appears Brit isn't about to start wailing, "And I-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love youoooooooo" anytime soon.

"He's her bodyguard and manny," a source tells People, which identifies the "strictly professional" bodyguard as one Daimon Shippen. "They're not dating."

The insider adds that Shippen is "tickled" over the attention, "But he really wants to focus on his job: taking care of the kids and of her."

X17.com also casts doubt on the purported pairing, maintaining Spears' "real boyfriend" is some unlucky fella named Sam.

Meanwhile, in a sighting that will likely add fuel to simmering meltdown speculation, the photo agency alleges Spears was spied "sobbing" and smoking at the Four Seasons earlier this week (Shippen was supposedly close by, but her usually ubiquitous "cousin," personal assistant and constant hand-holder Alli was MIA -- word is she and Britney are on the outs).

By Wednesday, however, she was back in fine form, popping onto the balcony of her hotel room wearing a tube top and sucking on a cancer stick (Shippen was also photographed on the same terrace).

As for why Britney has been holed up at a hotel when she has a palatial pad so close by, Us may have the answer.

According to the mag, she's put the Mediterranean-style, six-bedroom, six-and-a-half-bath Beverly Hills mansion she plunked down $7.2 million for in December back on the market for $7.495 million.

In addition to a gourmet kitchen, media room, pool and (we're assuming) the faint aroma of Red Bull and cigarette smoke, the abode includes all the furnishings.

Thankfully, prospective buyers need not worry about being stuck with beanbag chairs, waterbeds and velvet paintings of dogs playing poker: Brit bought the place fully furnished.

Spears originally listed the digs in February, but reconsidered a couple of months later before changing her mind again.

She's also trying to unload the sprawling Malibu compound she once shared with Kevin Federline, who, by the by, may also be snuggling up to someone new. The estate has been for sale for nine long months, despite a price cut from $13.5 million to a little under $12 million.

Next: Jessica on Her 'Real' Boobs, 'Little Booty'