You'd think that the British tabloids sounding the death knell on your marriage would ruin your appetite, but Madonna and Guy Ritchie stepped out together in London Tuesday night for a very public dinner date. The rumor-plagued pair left kids Lourdes, 11, Rocco, 7, and David, 2, at home as they arrived arm-in-arm at Harry's Bar amid a crush of photographers, a show of solidarity seemingly designed to quell speculation that their 7-year-old union is, as the London Sun claimed this week, "hanging by a thread." Their outing came just hours after the Big M's rep adamantly denied this umpteenth round of breakup talk, insisting, "All is well and wonderful in the Ritchie household." Rumblings of trouble went into overdrive after the flagging filmmaker was a no-show at two major Madonna events: her induction last week into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and her charitable soiree last month at the United Nations.

And here we thought Marie Osmond's doll dance on "Dancing With the Stars" was as salacious as things got. Second season champs Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke are loudly denouncing rumors that they were involved in an off-screen pas de deux. Star magazine accuses the married brother of Nick Lachey and the leggy, fleet-footed brunette of growing close during the "DWTS" tour, which wrapped last month. "They didn't go very far to cover it up," a spy alleges to the tab. "Cheryl was constantly draped all over Drew. They held hands, had their legs intertwined and were always touching inappropriately." Not so, contends a rep for Lachey, who tells People the claims are "completely false and cannot be further from the truth." Pipes in Burke's mouthpiece to TMZ.com, "The story that Cheryl is involved with Drew Lachey started two years ago when they were partners on 'Dancing With the Stars.' It wasn't true then and it isn't true now."

Helena Christensen wants everyone to know that she is, in fact, able to resist the enigmatic appeal of Josh Hartnett's wispy facial hair, fetching unibrow and '80s 'do. The veteran supermodel insists to OK! that a recent report claiming she and the actor had parted ways after nearly a year of quiet coupledom is so much hooey. "Once and for all, I can state that Josh and I are super close friends and have never even remotely been a couple," proclaims Christensen. "I have dated someone else quietly for half a year now, and I'm fine with saying that, so that the silly and repetitive rumors about me and Josh can be buried!" Besides, adds the mag, Hartnett is currently "smitten" with an actress named Tarajia Morrell.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz at the Clive Davis pre-Grammy party in Beverly Hills, Calif., on Feb. 2

Pete Wentz hedged his bets when it came to finding the perfect Christmas gift for Ashlee Simpson. The emo-coiffed Fall Out Boy bassist reveals to People that he not only picked out jewelry for his squeeze, who has been sporting a so-called "promise ring" since October, but he also went under the needle for a permanent declaration of devotion. "I got a tattoo," he tells the mag of the etching on his already well-decorated left arm. "It's the lyrics of a song ... 'Honey Is for the Bees, Silly Bear.' It's this lullaby that I wrote for her." Ashlee, who recently inked a massive peony on her arm, opted to present Pete with a gift that doesn't seep blood or incite mocking and pointing, at least not at first. She surprised him with a 2008 Triumph Bonneville motorcycle. "I didn't realize how hard a motorcycle was to ride. I'd only seen it on TV, and in movies, and I was like, 'I want to ride one!'" says Wentz. "But they're [bleeping] hard to ride!"

In other tattoo news, Carmen Electra and her brand spankin' new boyfriend, guitarist Rob Patterson, have decided indelible skin markings are the perfect way to prove their enduring love. PageSix.com reports the foolhardy flames honored each other with his-and-her ink stains last week, with the mammose actress getting an "R" behind her ear and the musician requesting "Carmen" on his forearm. You'll remember that Electra's ex-husband, Dave Navarro, was left with a huge "CE" on his chest after their reality show-documented marriage imploded.

"My life is so far from domesticated. That is not a good definition of me at all." So says Ashton Kutcher, insisting to VMan magazine that he and Demi Moore are anything but tame. "Demi and I play around the world and that is awesome," he kvells to the mag, which features him in a teeny-tiny pair of tighty-whities. And just in case you were wondering what makes the actor's days so darn "awesome," he helpfully breaks it down for you. "I was just on the phone with my agent and he said to me, 'I don't know many people who have it as good as you have it.' And I don't know anyone who has it as good as I have it," he muses. "I have a great spiritual foundation, an amazing career, a loving, supportive wife and family, I have a lot of friends, and I don't have any enemies. I don't know a lot of people who have what I have."

Next: Brit Breaks Bread With Parents, Mel Gibson