A day without an update on the latest shenanigans of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears is like a day without air, albeit stale air that's heavy with the smell of smoke, alcohol and desperation, but air nonetheless. Here's the latest on the so-called "Three Bimbos of the Apocalypse":

The détente between catfight-disposed frenemies Paris and Lindsay appears to be over. Hilton tossed a Christmas party for her friends, family and hangers-on Monday night at her Hollywood Hills home and made sure everyone knew that her AA-attending, club-hopping nemesis was persona non grata.

"Don't let Fire[rhymes with 'splotch'] in!" someone who sounded an awful lot like the self-satisfied starlet could be heard saying outside the soiree (via video from X17.com), blatantly broadcasting the unexpectedly enduring nickname given to LiLo by Paris' oily oil heir pal Brandon Davis.

No word on what triggered this latest Lohan ban, although People reports Lindsay and Paris were recently spotted "rocking out" to Michael Jackson's "Beat It" and Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" at L.A. nightclub Teddy's.

"They were definitely enjoying each other's company," a spywitness tells the mag.

Meanwhile, one person who did earn a spot on the party's guest list was Lindsay's former flame Harry Morton, who has apparently moved on from their September "breather" with one of Hilton's bestest pals.

According to Perez Hilton, the shiny-toothed Hard Rock scion was cozying up to Kimberly Stewart at the bash.

How cozy were they? Rod's D-list little girl is said to have taken advantage of the stripper pole on the premises and shimmied "very seductively" for Morton before treating him to a public lap dance. The duo reportedly departed the shindig together.

In related bump and grind news, Britney's relentless campaign to make almost-ex hubby Kevin Federline look like the more mature, responsible parent to Sean Preston, 15 months, and Jayden James, 3 months, continued Sunday night when she popped by L.A. burlesque club Forty Deuce.

The shameless, semi-retired pop tartlet hopped onstage with a few pals and shook her oft-seen goods for the crowd, report both the New York Daily News and "Entertainment Tonight."

She also apparently showed off her manual dexterity by unzipping her vest and revealing her pink bra, all without letting go of the cigarette in her hand.

The Britster's incessant exhibitionism seems unstoppable, even for the manager of Forty Deuce, who attempted to herd her off stage to make way for the performers who are actually paid to flash their flesh, says the News.

But Britney wasn't yet ready to cede the spotlight, y'all! She supposedly soon returned to the stage, where the manager again had to give her the heave-ho.

Spears was later seen quenching the thirst she worked up with her unsolicited peep show with a concoction that would make even the milk-and-Pepsi-quaffing Laverne DeFazio gag: Champagne and Coca-Cola.

By Tuesday, paparazzi found her looking more disheveled than usual as she stopped by an L.A. tattoo parlor with 15-year-old sister Jamie Lynn in tow. People reports she had a star permanently inked onto her hand.

The Britster is hardly the first big name to opt for this design. Us Weekly recently named the star tattoo a hot trend, citing its appearance on Sienna Miller, Eva Longoria, Kate Hudson, Gisele Bundchen and -- wait for it -- Lindsay.

By the by, the New York Post reports some of the hard-working gals at gentlemen's club Scores are scratching their rarely noticed noggins over reports that Lohan has badly bruised her thighs while practicing on the pole to play a stripper in the currently filming "I Know Who Killed Me."

According to the paper, the dancers are surprised she won the role given her "very awkward" and "klutzy" pole-dancing performance at the club last January with all too brief BFF Kate Moss.

Finally, in news that relates to Britney, Paris and Lindsay, who have all been snapped revealing parts of their anatomy only their doctor, their squeezes du jour and an aesthetician wielding hot wax should see, there's a new R-rated ditty about their crotch-flashing antics making the rounds.

While most of the lyrics of "Lindsay Lohan's Revenge," from Pase Rock and Spank Rock, can't be repeated here, it does feature a practical plea that every starlet should heed: "Put your panties on."