Dec. 10, 2007

When you were a little kid, did you ever help yourself to something you weren't supposed to? Like, say, a piece of candy from the corner store or a couple bucks from your mom's purse. You probably felt guilty about it afterward and never did it again, right? Lesson learned.

Alas, it looks like 26-year-old Britney Spears is experiencing her sticky-fingered phase a couple of decades too late -- and without any of those pesky if edifying feelings of self-recrimination.

On Friday, the all-but-Red Cross-declared disaster zone stopped into a Los Angeles gas station to buy some gum when she decided to help herself to an item perfect for facilitating her other oral fixation -- a cigarette lighter.

In video captured by TMZ.com, Brit can be seen stalking up to the counter surrounded by the usual phalanx of photographers. When one asks her if she's "a little upset," she faux chirpily responds, "Do I look upset to you, baby?"

Spears then forks over some moolah for her purchase but makes a face when the cashier appears to tell her she owes a bit more. She slaps a couple extra bucks on the counter before turning to leave.

But Britney only made it a couple steps before wheeling around and snatching a bright blue Bic from a nearby display, which she immediately held up to the paparazzi as she made her way to her car.

"I stole something," she sing-songed. "Oh, I'm bad. Ohhhhh!"

The lousy example-setting, court-monitored mommy of Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, who purportedly pilfered a wig off a mannequin during a recent shopping trip to the Hustler store (per Us Weekly), seemed ridiculously proud of purloining a $1.39 piece of plastic.

When she returned to the Four Seasons Hotel in the wee hours of Sunday morning, she prominently displayed the Bic in her hand as she climbed out of her car (on the plus side, she did take surprising care not to flash her oft-seen nether regions in the sheer black shirt she was attempting to pass off as a dress).

The owner of the gas station confirms to People that Britney swiped the lighter but says he doesn't plan to file a police report (dude, quit enabling).

"I'm hoping maybe the next time she comes back she will pay for it," he explains. "It's still not right for her to steal the lighter. I hope she will do the right thing the next time she comes here."

Turns out she doesn't have to do the right thing. In yet another example of the cone of entitlement that surrounds Spears, one of her shutterbug shadows returned to the gas station on Saturday and coughed up the cash for her indiscretion.

"[The manager] didn't want me to pay for it at first," the lensman tells Us. "I told him it was no bother. I just felt like I should, you know?"

Something tells us Britney won't be writing a thank you letter to the photog for saving her bacon, especially given how short her fuse has been lately with her self-created paparazzi pack.

A few days back, cameras recorded every scintillating second of one of her many Frappuccino-gathering missions to Starbucks, including her incredulous reaction to the price of her triple-shot caffeine fix ("Oh my God, $14.25?").

When a fed-up Spears exited the coffee mecca through a flashbulb crush, she cautioned photographers who were crowding her $100,000-plus convertible Mercedes, "Don't touch my [bleeping] car. I swear to God ..."

They should heed her warning -- and not just because the tire-flattened feet they save may be their own.

TMZ reports Brit was once again driving dangerously over the weekend, veering into honking oncoming traffic and making a fast turn as two camera-filled SUVs followed close behind.

Next: Paris Putting Up Dukes for Ex Squeeze Stavros?

Big Debate: Who's crazier? Lindsay or Britney?