Daisy hits a new low as she learns she's heading to Russia to check out Jessica's acting chops in "Major Movie Star." (©WireImage.com) More photos

Jessica Simpson's transition from dizzy reality show-starring newlywed to big-screen wannabe to oversharing-prone country warbler hasn't always been an easy one. Take her "Private Benjamin" rip-off "Major Movie Star," which she promoted at the Cannes Film Festival last year before the camouflage-filled flick had even been shot. FoxNews.com reports that the long-shelved comedy, branded by one insider as "maybe one of the worst films ever made," has been dusted off and sent over to Russia, where it recently topped the box office amid seemingly tundra-like competition. The clunker, in which Jess plays a sheltered celebrity who joins the Army, won't be hitting theaters in North America, but if you happen to be in Bulgaria next month, be sure to check it out and report back. Otherwise, you'll have to wait a little while to watch this cinematic gem. According to Us, it will debut on DVD in the U.S. on Feb. 3 under the new title, "Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous," which only sounds X-rated (the pic is PG-13). You'll recall that Simpson's previous big-screen effort, the "Working Girl" knockoff "Blonde Ambition," went straight to DVD after a brief stop in eight tumbleweed-strewn Dallas movie theaters late last year. Meanwhile, Jess is once again talking up her romance with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. "[Tony and I] are definitely compatible in all areas," she wink-winks to Cosmopolitan, adding, "Any person who I'm gonna date for longer than six months, I definitely am investing in something long-term." Simpson, who will celebrate her one-year anniversary with Romo next month, is also setting the bar high for the future. "If I get married again," says the former Mrs. Nick Lachey, "then it will be the last time."  

Tara goes backless at a fashion event in Las Vegas last August. (©Retna Ltd.) More photos

Tara Reid is managing to milk a little more publicity off her botched boob job and liposuction. The former starlet is featured in a bikini on the cover of this week's People, appearing in the sidebar next to the headline "Living With Bad Plastic Surgery." Turns out Tara is upset over the tidal wave of body slams she was subjected to after frolicking in an unforgiving two-piece last week in Miami. "I've been a media target for years now," Reid, 33, sniffles to the mag. "It does hurt my feelings, but what can I do? I have to move on." (Her psychological scars seem slow to heal, however. Way back in 2002, long before she went under the knife, Reid was equally sensitive about being called a pie-eyed party girl, saying, "Sometimes my feelings get hurt ... I'm like, Leave me alone.") Tara, who just happens to be debuting a clothing line that features -- wait for it -- bikinis, admits it's tough having a daily reminder of her 2004 nip/tuck disaster, which left her with a rippled midsection. She sighs of her "uneven" abs, "They are my battle wounds."

Paris is spotted in London on Oct. 21. (©Retna Ltd.) More photos

Is the recession hurting Paris Hilton's bottom line? So claims the London Daily Mail, which says the tireless self-promoter isn't earning quite as much to party at local clubs as she once did. Paris, who's been in town shooting her "BFF"-seeking MTV series, supposedly earned an estimated $115,000 in "appearance fees" when she last club-hopped in the city, but this time around, she's pocketed only a measly $40,000 or so to show up and smile among the little people. "Although it's a lot of money," explains a mole, "to Paris' people it's nowhere near as much as she used to be able to command." Still, the paper says one hot spot was willing to pony up a generous $82,000 for Hilton's precious time, but she was said to be unhappy with the strict requirements for the appearance, which included hanging out for at least two whole hours.