All those years that Madonna and Guy Ritchie spent vigorously denying rumors that they were unhappily married apparently resulted in a whole lot of pent-up resentment, which, in the wake of their divorce announcement, is now flooding the tabloids courtesy of he-said/she-said sniping from those pesky unnamed sources. The deluge of dissolution discontentment includes speculation about deep-seated relationship issues, their supposed financial squabbling, Madonna's rumored relationship with Alex Rodriguez and comments from the peanut gallery. Here are the latest lowlights:

The A-Rod Rumors: Madonna has denied allegations of an "affair of the heart" with New York Yankee star Alex Rodriguez, although an insider recently described their "strange relationship" to People as being "spiritual, emotional and romantic." The British tabs have run with that and come up with whispers of tests and genetic gifts. Let's start with the Daily Mail, which claims Madonna, despite being old enough for membership in the AARP, is sizing up A-Rod like a prize stud. "She thinks he's physically a great specimen," a pal tells the paper. "And if she is going to have another child, he would be the ideal man to bring one to her." Rodriguez, for his part, is supposedly nearing a deal to buy a ridiculously expensive Manhattan penthouse located just a couple of blocks from Madonna's pad. "Alex knows that this is a difficult time for Madonna, especially as she has children," an insider tells the paper, which theorizes that they could go public in the next couple of months. "So he thought this was the best way to be close to her without being too intrusive. He is completely into her and willing to be patient while she sorts everything out. All he cares about is just being close to her." But FoxNews.com wonders whether A-Rod's attention span is on the short side, with spies purporting that the slugger, whose divorce was finalized last month, has been meeting women "all over the place."

Madonna and Guy look thrilled to be arm-in-arm on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year. (©Retna Ltd.)

The Kabbalah Connection: Ritchie has made no secret of the fact that he doesn't share Madonna's devotion to Kabbalah. Rodriguez, on the other hand, has reportedly embraced the religion. The Daily Mail reports he's pledged to write "a range of sports-themed books to bring the message of Kabbalah to young boys" and wants to join the Big M on a "spiritual" journey to Malawi after she wraps her Sticky & Sweet tour. Meanwhile, insiders say Madonna has come up with a "five-point plan" to assess whether A-Rod is right for her. "First, when Alex says he is going to call, Madonna checks that he calls when he says he will. Guy would always call late or not at all," a source explains to the Mail. "Madonna has also tested Alex on his knowledge of Kabbalah text and he did remarkably well." She has also allegedly quizzed him about his attitude towards money and what she was wearing the first three times they met (he received passing marks on both lines of questioning). Finally, claims the friend, "She spoke to him at length about what he felt about being public with someone more famous than him. He gave the right answer -- that he saw her as a spiritual being and not a famous person."

Madonna is snapped with son David in New York on Oct. 1. (©WireImage.com)

But What About the Children? With custody arrangements reportedly still being hammered out for Lourdes, 12, Rocco, 8, and David, 3, one interested party has chimed in on the youngest member of the Ritchie's broken home. "I am still a poor farmer with nothing to offer, but maybe he would be better off back with us," Yohane Banda, David's biological father, opines to the London Sun of his Malawi-born son, whom Madonna and Guy adopted in 2006. "This woman, Madonna, told me herself that David was beautiful and made her happy and she promised to take care of him ... This is a new and terrible thing to happen to him." Banda, who placed David in an orphanage when his wife died shortly after giving birth, has since remarried and had another son. "I have the joy of a new family and I even have a new son," he says. "But now when I think of David in danger of living outside a family life I find it unbearable. I find it hard to believe God intended this." Continues Banda, "They promised to take good care of him and always remember he was from Malawi. That's why I let them take him. Now I feel let down and disappointed, really shocked. ... I have never heard from her since the day I agreed to let her adopt David. She has sent no photographs or news. I suppose she just wants him for herself."

The Long, Dry Spell: Earlier this year, Madonna admitted to Elle that she and Guy slept with their Blackberries under their pillows, an unromantic arrangement she attempted to play down by boasting, "Sex with Guy is incredible." But a source alleges to Britain's News of the World that the twosome once went 18 months without being intimate, saying, "They've been apart so much in the last two years the times when they could have made love have been pretty limited. And they've been in separate bedrooms a lot after rows so there has been no making-up. They might as well be brother and sister." According to the insider, "He got more and more frustrated as she spent nearly half the day working out. Afterwards she'd be too tired to make love." Something else that might have interfered with their snuggle-time? The Daily Mail claims Madonna would come to bed covered in $800-a-jar anti-aging cream and kitted out in a "plastic bodysuit." And even when they did cuddle up, Ritchie supposedly wasn't so keen on Madonna's Popeye-after-a-spinach-bender arms and super-sinewy body. "After a few drinks one evening Guy said it was like cuddling up to a piece of gristle," the confidant unkindly recalls to the NoTW. "All the soft feminine tones have been replaced by the build of an athlete."

Madonna hits the stage in Toronto on Oct. 18. (©AP) More photos

The Age of Dissonance: Ritchie reportedly lauded his wife during her 50th birthday celebration, crowing, "She looks better now than she ever has done. I'm so proud," but the Daily Mail says she may have her lawyers argue that he failed to support her as she crossed the half-century mark. "Madonna says Guy never said the right things to get her over that hurdle. She says he basically let her know that he thought she was over the hill," a mole asserts to the paper. "She felt particularly vulnerable and felt Guy played on that, telling her that she looked 'past it,' which would damage her confidence. She is alleging he would tell her that she really should give up the live touring and that she looked like a granny compared to the nubile youngsters dancing with her on stage." The source claims Madonna felt "belittled" by her decade-younger husband, and believed "the constant put-downs created a distance between them and that she felt totally isolated in the marriage. That's when the love started to die and when their sex life also suffered badly."

Guy and Madonna walk their last red carpet together at the London premiere of "RocknRolla" on Sept. 1. (©Retna Ltd.)

Are Guy's Fists Tighter Than Madonna's Thighs? Last week, Ritchie reportedly declared that he wants "not one penny" from his stinking rich missus, but the Sun says her pals have already nicknamed him Material Guy because of his supposed money cravings. "I'm totally devastated that Guy's turned out to be such a gold-digger," Madonna is quoted as kvetching to a friend. "I thought we'd been on a spiritual journey together for the past ten years -- but obviously I was wrong. He's just after my money. I've worked my ass off for the last 30 years to get what I have, and now this gold-digger wants to take it from me." And while some estimates have put Ritchie's personal fortune in the $50 million range, the paper says he has a reputation for being tightfisted. "If he's meant to be worth millions, then Madonna's never seen a penny of it," a mole slams to the tab. "He's never contributed towards the running of the family and his son's schooling." Adds a spy to the News of the World, "Despite the millions he made from his gangster films, he'd sometimes scrounge out of the household expenses if she wanted him to treat her. Eventually she found out what was going on. She must have torn a strip off him." But a friend of the director defends him against the meal-ticket accusations, contending to the London Daily Mirror, "Guy is his own man with his own money. He's much too proud to start going after Madonna's millions. He doesn't want to get into a tug-of-war. He loves the children and would never jeopardize his relationship with them."

Settlement, Schmettlement: Madonna's rep has brushed off reports that the soon-to-be-exes had finalized the divorce details, which, depending on which tabloid you believe, would have given Ritchie a cash settlement in the $17 million to $35 million range, along with their sprawling country estate and the London pub they co-own.

London Still Calling? "There are lots of things about England I love, but my husband isn't one of them," Madonna supposedly told a confidant (via the London Sun). Still, does that mean she'll ditch her faux British accent and head back to the U.S.? "Everyone expected Madonna to up sticks and go and live in New York -- taking the children with her," a spy tells the London Daily Mirror. "But despite some of the unhappy memories that London holds, she still feels that it's the best base for the kids." Not so, a mole informs People, positing, "Madonna is a New Yorker. She will probably want to raise the kids in New York."

Odds and Ends: Ritchie's seemingly tabloid-reading dad didn't take kindly to reports that Madonna has been dedicating the song "Miles Away," which she has said was inspired by Guy, to the "emotionally retarded." "She is being beastly," Papa Ritchie rants to the Sun. "She is saying, 'Did you ever love me?' It goes back to a time when she fell off her horse [she broke several ribs during the 2005 accident] and she's blaming him for that. She's calling him an emotional retard. When he's being bashed by her it's horrid." Speaking of bashing, the Mail calls Madonna a "domestic tyrant" who restricted Guy to a mostly dairy-, sugar- and meat-free diet. "If you were to use the word controlling, you would not even be coming close to describing the way she is about food," jabs a source, with another insider concluding to the Sun, "Now it's all over he plans to have a little fun -- something that has been missing from his life for far too long."