The perseverance of a dedicated lab assistant has to be praised from time to time. Other employees come and go, eyes on the clock; meanwhile, faithful
Igor toils long and hard. The drone of his voice, working onward into the night, is a familiar sound when taking leave of one of the few premises on the face of the earth where someone makes an effort to distinguish between a bass player named
Jeph Howard and another named
Joe Howard.
"What is emo?" Igor is rasping into his phone receiver, the 15th time he has asked this question in 15 minutes to just as many so-called experts receiving his research calls.
"I can't tell you what it sounds like, but I know what they wear," comes the response, a familiar one. "There we go again!" Igor moans, slamming the phone down. He already knows what these guys look like, Jeph Howard and the band he is in, the Used. The band hails from Orem, UT: Mormon country. One member looked a bit like Jesus Christ Himself, but not once he got a shave.
Igor is working hard, making sure every proofreader in the world knows that the name "Jeph" and its companion "Jepha" are understood to be anything but misprints, the sight of which might cause a cowardly flip-flop into a "Jeff" or "Joe." In the case of the latter, all manner of Biblical chaos might result since there is not only a rock bassist named Joe Howard, but someone else with this name associated with texts written for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Jeph Howard, in contrast, has recorded songs such as "Lunacy Fringe," "Cut Up Angels," even a "Let It Bleed" that is no rolling stone. One of his biographies indicates that he has 15 piercings, including one on his penis, most likely an attribute that is not found in favor with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, at least not in their public face.
Igor is sure his efforts will succeed. Proofreaders realize the Used are their kind of band. After all, they fired the member whose name was hardest to spell, Branden Steineckert. ~ Eugene Chadbourne, All Music Guide
Hotmail
