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Michael Nelson
Stereogum
Official Slayer
Christmas sweater |
Once upon a time Slayer was a legit scary band -- not a cartoon or an ironic pose, but a genuinely dangerous, disquieting group with f---ed-up allegiances and ideas, who made insanely brutal and blood-raising music. Looking at 'em today, it's actually kinda weird that their music has remained pretty uncompromising, because everything else about their public image seems so damned lame. Case in point: Slayer's "official" Christmas jumper, which will run you $80 at their merch site. (It's actually sold out already, so you'll probably have to drop like three bills on eBay to get the thing.)
I shouldn't hate -- we talk all the time about bands having to find new ways to make money, so if Slayer fans will pony up for a goofy novelty item, more power to both parties. And I won't lie -- I've got a "Christmas sweater required" holiday party coming up in a few weeks, and when I saw this thing, I was like, "That's a Christmas sweater I might actually wear." (Honestly it's pretty badass just as a garment IMO.) But even if I bought the thing, I'd be too embarrassed to wear it in public, and the point is moot because all the fanboys snatched it up before I could. Guess I'm wearing my Tombs hoodie to the Xmas shindig. Again.
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Cheeznutz, it's hard, isn't it? I know I wanted to projectile vomit when The Ramones (who changed my freaking life), put out "Rock and Roll High School" I nearly opened a vein when Iggy's "Lust For Life," (all verses edited out), became a cruise ship commercial. I can't even listen to that track anymore! The Ramones (r.i.p), are forgiven. They deserved to be rich and never got close. But Iggy? He was horrifying the same hippies in the 60's with his act that are now probably going on the Senior Cruises. I sometimes envy those who chose people like Neil Young as childhood heroes. The Xmas sweaters are not at all cool or funny. They should have retired first, Chris:)
The internet and instant media has taken all the "evil" away from these bands. Before, all you knew about them was their dark music and the public image they put out. Now, I know things about my childhood heroes that I never really wanted to know. Ozzy is really just a bumbling grandpa. Phil Anselmo is just an incoherent heroin addict. Slayer puts out christmas sweaters. Mostly all the new technology is great but it has certainly taken the fun out of some of my favorite things.
o.k.that does it! now what is slayer going to do, write a song called "we are slayer" and then, be accused of selling out, then have to retire and go home and get, gulp, day jobs?!
oh, wait, dave lombardo (drums) is catholic and tom araya(bass and vocals) is a buddhist.
i guess this makes sense, but i am not buying it.
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