(Continued)

Scorsese 101

After "Ocean's Thirteen," I rushed over to get in line for the one thing I had circled on my Cannes calendar months ago: a film class taught by Martin Scorsese. Because, let's face it, when you're burned out on movies after eight days of a film festival, who better to recharge your batteries than Martin Scorsese? Only, when I arrived, I found a huge line of ticket holders but not many press members lined up. There was a ton of camera and video crews but not much print press. I got in with ease and was shocked. I settled into my third-row seat and noticed something odd: two chairs on stage and a table. Two chairs? Wasn't this supposed to be a lecture? In fact, Cannes pulled a switcheroo on us (or duped us, depending on your point of view) and the event was NOT a film class or a lecture but a 100-minute-long interview with Scorsese along the lines of "Inside the Actor's Studio." The difference here was we were spared any inane questions from the audience, and the French dude who conducted the interview was definitely less annoying and fawning than James Lipton. Scorsese wasn't asked what his favorite swear word was (hell, we all know that answer anyway!). Instead, French dude took us through Scorsese's entire career, asking questions the director had selected and showing clips that Marty wanted to discuss. How could you tell, you ask? Well, the clip choices were downright odd. There were six. The first was the opening sequence of "Mean Streets" and the second was an in-ring moment from "Raging Bull." But after that, things got wonderfully weird. "After Hours," "The Age of Innocence," "Casino" and "Kundun" followed ... no "Taxi Driver" or "Goodfellas" or "The Departed." It was great and unexpected, and allowed Scorsese to riff on his filmmaking techniques and subjects like interrupted narratives and voiceover narration (this was a big one that he defended and came back to time and time again ... and damn, if he didn't win this critic over). Along the way, Scorsese name-dropped approximately 90 directors and/or films that inspired him (I lost count) and took special time to address the crowd on select titles and say "See this!" I was in cinema heaven.

Wait, I should back up. I didn't even set the scene, did I?

Quentin Tarantino at Martin Scorsese's master class (AP)

Before Scorsese entered the theater, Quentin Tarantino entered and created buzz and a blinding barrage of flashbulbs. No autographs once again, though this time he had a handler who spoke to the unwashed masses so Tarantino didn't have to. When finally one of the festival directors jumped on stage to start the proceedings, he took the time to introduce QT to us lucky folks (and some other important French dude I didn't recognize). QT stood, wearing a muscle T-shirt that revealed things no one needed to see, and blew kisses to all of us. Ah, Quentin. Oh, and then, about halfway through the interview, I turned around to see if anyone had bolted. And surprise, surprise, the world's most self-promoted film geek was nowhere to be found. Great photo op, though. When the master entered, the place went nuts. Scorsese looked humble as a massive standing ovation erupted before he finally begged the crowd to sit down. And off we went ...

There were many film students in the audience, many sitting next to me, and Scorsese's biggest bit of advice to them was simple: "You have to be crazy to do this. Obsessive. I'm sorry, but it's true. I mean, other people can have lives and relationships, but I can't do it." He spoke about the biggest problems when making movies ("Trains, boats, children and animals"), he remembered the night he met De Niro, he discussed destroying the tyranny of Hollywood narrative, he told us he learned to move the camera through his love of American musicals and he talked about sex and violence. Violence was easy to explore he said, but sex ... "I don't know how to shoot a sex scene. I'm looking forward to shooting a sex scene one day. I have some ideas," he laughed. Never has 100 minutes seemed so short. I felt, probably like the 1000 or so fortunate enough in attendance, blessed.

Oh, one last thing. The funniest sight of the day was turning around to see Brett Ratner sitting in the crowd. The "X-Men: The Last Stand" auteur was shockingly not announced to the crowd, however. But let's hope, for all our sakes, that he at least learned something during those 100 minutes. You can't teach talent, but knowledge can be passed on. Well, I'll give him this: At least he stayed until the end.

Hollywood Disaster

Finally, we had our first outright In Competition disaster Thursday night. James Gray's "We Own the Night" (a horrible title that sounds like a prom theme ... was "End of Innocence" taken?) flat-out bombed. The unintentionally hilarious mess stars Joaquin Phoenix, Mark Wahlberg, Eva Mendes and Robert Duvall. It's a story about a black-sheep brother (Phoenix) who runs a nightclub in late-'80s New York and must hide the fact that his brother and dad (Wahlberg, Duvall) are high-ranking NYPD officers. When the Russian mafia decides to pick off cops, baby brother has to rethink his life and choose between his freedom and his family. There are shocking plot twists in the first two acts that mask some really shoddy writing and overwrought performances (I felt really bad for Phoenix and Wahlberg), but the third act is pure garbage. There are too many unbelievable, silly twists to list. And when the screen went black and James Gray's name hit the screen, the boos rained down in the Debussy Theater. And that's when I remembered that Gray hadn't made a movie for seven years (his last one was "The Yards"). Don't expect to see one for another seven, if ever.

Monday: A final weekend wrap-up and thoughts on the Palme d'Or and other Cannes winners and losers

Dave McCoy is lead editor for MSN Movies. He'll file daily dispatches from Cannes through May 28.

Thoughts on "Ocean's Thirteen"? Scorsese? Write us at heymsn@microsoft.com

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