(...Story Continued from Previous Page) She really wants to come, and I feel really bad. Even though
it's going to be an amazing night and I might never have the opportunity to go
again, it's still work and I don't like my mom being around me when I'm working.
I have to go into work mode and I don't think she'll like me when I'm in work
mode.
How does work mode differ from daughter mode?
Actually, not very much. If I don't get my own way either way, I still moan.
(Laughs). I rely on my mom so much when I'm not working. I'm such a mommy's girl
... I'm really responsible when I'm working and I don't want her to know that I
can be responsible because then she'll never look after me again.
You're on your first headlining U.S. tour. Do you get nervous before
you go onstage?
Oh, so nervous. It doesn't matter how small or fun or serious a show is, I
always kind of heave and gag before I go on, I'm so frightened. People pay their
money that they've earned and give you an hour of their day. You've got to be
really good for them, you don't want to let them down ... If I spend 20 pounds
to go to a show and it's s---, I'm f---ing gutted and I walk away and I'm never
buying their records again.
In London, the paparazzi stalk you. How do you deal with
that?
If you go to the celebrity haunt clubs, you're going to get "papped." I used
to go to them celebrity parties. But I can't say I've ever had one proper
conversation with a celebrity, ever in my life, and they can be really boring,
so I just don't go anymore.
I used to go when I was drinking a lot in the summer and I was getting
"papped" a lot. Rumors were going around that I was drinking, so people were
waiting around, waiting for me to f--- up, but now I don't drink anymore. I
don't go out anymore. I'm just at home with my friends ... I've gotten boring,
so I'm not a story anymore. On "19," "Daydreamer" is about a bisexual boy you
were in love with; "Hometown Glory" is about deciding not to go to school in
Liverpool.
Do you ever feel something is too personal to write about?
No, not at all. Sometimes I'll regret it a little bit when I'm doing
interviews with really coax-y journalists who are trying to get the names of the
boys. I complain when people are intruding and then I remember I have myself to
blame for that. When I was writing a record, it had suddenly become my job to
produce a body of work. I was so caught up in a relationship that it didn't even
occur to me that when I was writing the record that it would be heard by more
than a million people.
At the time, I didn't think anything of it. Now, sometimes I get a bit
frightened and I get really freaked out onstage when people are singing my words
back to me that I wrote in my bedroom just to try to get this boy off of my
chest and try to make [the best] of a bad situation. That's why people believe
me; I think you're dead if no one believes you.
Related: Read will.i.am interview | See photos of 2009 Nominees
More: Read about snubs and surprises | See all photos
Melinda Newman is a freelance journalist who covers music and
entertainment for the Associated Press, the Los Angeles Times, the Washington
Post, the Hollywood Reporter, Performing Songwriter and a number of other
outlets. She is a former talent editor and West Coast bureau chief for Billboard
magazine. |
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